Why My Husband Took Me on A Date To The Cemetery For My Birthday...

As strange as it might sound, this was a fun date we will always remember!  Now, before you start thinking my husband is weird, let me say he would be the last person on the planet to EVER suggest visiting the cemetery to celebrate my birthday!  THIS WAS MY IDEA!  So maybe I’m the creepy one! Let me explain...

 My daughter gave us a really cool book for our 40th anniversary called
​ 52 Uncommon Dates.  We are trying to do one a month and the “The Cemetery Date” was next on the list. 

 Two wonderful things were going to be different this year on my birthday… it was going to be on a Saturday and it was going to be a gorgeous spring-like day!  So I said, “Why don’t we have our cemetery date on my birthday!??”  Of course wanting to be agreeable, he went along and we actually had a wonderful time that included a lot of laughs!  

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The book gave us instructions of different things to do on our cemetery visit.   Neither of us has ever been keen on revisiting grave-sites, so we started by visiting Robby’s parents’ and sharing some memories of them.  It was nice to be able to “take in” the beauty and peacefulness of the cemetery.   We discovered a statue of four Biblical prophets nearby and found that the prophet Isaiah overlooks their sites.  So many things we didn’t notice on the days of their funerals!

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​Next, per instructions, we explored the cemetery, reading the markers and talking about the things that stood out to us.  It was very humbling to see so many WWII veterans, some of whose spouses are still living.  Of course it was sad to see the markers of children who had died way too young.  We watched an Asian family putting incense on their family members’ graves. ​

 Then, much to our surprise, we discovered the grave marker of a good friend who died suddenly a few years ago in a biking accident.  He made a difference in so many lives and is missed by all who knew him.  We paused here for a while...  

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Another suggestion from the date book was to talk about what we might want our own epitaphs to say.  This is where we had a lot of laughs.  I’ve certainly never laughed out loud in a cemetery before because the only time I have ever visited one is for a burial.   It is a different experience to visit when you are not so emotionally raw.  I must say, it helped take away the mystery and yucky feeling I’ve always had about cemeteries.  I almost didn’t want to leave because I was enjoying walking and being outside on such a beautiful day and soaking in the fresh air.  But then, Robby broke my lingering mood when he gave his answer to the last date question, “Was the date eerie or comforting?”  He said all he could think about the whole time was the hundreds of dead skeletons just lying in their caskets!  Ok well... let’s just say he was a really good sport! 

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​In all seriousness, I just turned 61 and it’s very strange to be at the age where more and more close friends and relatives are beginning to have major health issues, so it does make me think about how I want to finish the race.  Every day is a gift from God and I want to live fully engaged while at the same time keeping an eternal perspective, for I know this earth is not my final home.  

I will leave you with Molly Skagg's beautiful new version of Johnny Cash's song "Ain't No Grave"