My first grand daughter was born Oct 9! She has 2 older brothers who are already smitten! (along with the rest of us!) Looking at this precious picture reminded me of a little song I wrote for my eldest grandson.
He was 2 weeks overdue so they took a sonogram picture. He looked so peaceful sleeping in his Mommie's womb that it inspired me to write this song "First Lullaby". This is recorded with a hand held recorder, so it's not professional quality, but I thought you'd enjoy it anyway...
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This blog is longer than usual but I wanted to take you on the journey with me. The performance is at the end... Well, it’s been a week since the Enlightened Piano Radio Awards Concert at the Grand Ole Opry and I am still trying to feel normal again. I will have to say, from beginning to end, the whole weekend was a lot to take in and an amazing experience! First and foremost, I want to thank each and every one of you who voted for me as Best New Artist. Though I did not win the title, I was a winner just to be nominated and I would not have had this experience had it not been for your votes!!! I will always be grateful.
You know you are in the Country Music Capital when you get off the plane and you hear live country music coming from every bar on your way down the concourse. Then you get to the hotel and more live country music is being performed in the hotel lobby! When your shuttle driver and your hotel concierge both ask, "What brings you to Nashville?" and they get majorly excited when you tell them you are performing at the Opry (in Studio A), it starts to hit you...performing at the Opry is performing at the Opry, even if it's in the ladies' room! It's a big deal! The Opryland Hotel is very beautiful with tropical greenery and waterfalls everywhere. The first thing I did when I arrived was take the indoor river cruise and I ran into fellow EPR artist, Mark Pinkus, who immediately put me at ease. Another thing about the hotel is that it’s ginormous (is that a word?) - VERY VERY big! With almost 3000 rooms, it can be quite daunting to find one’s way around. I mean…people, when you have the hotel map IN YOUR HAND and you still have to ask others carrying Starbucks cups how to get to the Starbucks, that is just TOO big!!!! All the EPR musicians I have met are so nice, helpful, and encouraging! THE BIG NIGHT! So what is Studio A? It is right on the other side of the wall of the main stage! It’s most famous for being the set of the TV show Hee Haw. In order to get through the stage door, my name had to be on the security list, and I went through the same performers’ stage door that Reba McIntyre, Vince Gill, Carrie Underwood, and Dolly Parton had done the very night before for Reba’s 40th anniversary at the Grand Ole Opry!!!!! It was really quite funny when earlier in the day I had gone for my warm up through the front door and a security guard escorted me through several tour groups saying “Excuse me please, excuse me” and they parted like the red sea as if I was someone famous! LOL!!!! Just quickly walking through the building made me appreciate the history and the privilege I was about to have that very few people would ever experience! I wish I could have had the time to jump in on one of those tours and listen to what they were learning about all the history within those walls! I was soooo incredibly blessed to have twelve friends and family members from three states in the audience. I didn’t really realize how much it would mean to me until I was sitting there waiting for my turn to play. Seeing them all in the audience made all the difference in the world and helped calm my beating heart! Another highlight for me was to have Eric Bikales accompany me on the flute. He also gave a performance of his own original music in the jazz piano category. Eric has toured for 30 years with Neal Sedaka. Our performance went well and was very well received. We've already had over 2000 views on Facebook! As you can see by the picture below many performers have played on the same piano we got to play in the concert!
As I have shared a little of my life story, some of you have asked who took care of me after my mother died. The short answer is Bertha! The long answer is much more than a name or a face.
It was at Bertha's apron strings that I first heard the words to Amazing Grace and it was at her loving hands that I first felt them. I can honestly say that Bertie was the glue that held our family together after my mother died. She was certainly the most stabilizing person in my life. She was truly the kindest person I ever knew. She never said an unkind word to us as children and always carried the joy of the Lord in her heart. I loved everything about Bertha. She had an infectious smile, an easy laugh, and a big heart. She loved our family with a fierce and protective love, especially me because I was the baby. Just ask my siblings...all I had to do was hide under her apron and they knew they'd have to get past Bertie to get to me as she would say, "You better leave my baby 'lone"!
My happiest childhood memories were during the summer when Bertie would take her daughter and me fishing at a nearby farm pond. We would dig our own worms, put them in a can of dirt and head off with our cane poles! Nothing was more thrilling than seeing that cork go under the surface of the water and yelling "I got one"! The three of us also played many a game of Candy Land and Uncle Wiggly. I still love playing those games today with my grandchildren because it brings back such happy memories.
Bertha stuck with our family through a lot of hard times and heartaches. She cried as much as we did when our father died. At her funeral, she was mourned by many "children" who were not her own. She lived her faith by welcoming any child she ever met into her heart and home. While our family did not have a corner on the market of feeling loved by Bertha, I thank God every day that we were! Without her love and devotion, I don't see how we would have survived.
Nope, that is not a typo. Some say Father, some say Dad, but with a proper southern drawl, “Deddy” was how I always said Daddy. My father was bigger than life to me, especially since I was so short and he was so tall. He was a strong man in more ways than one. In going through family pictures recently, I have grown to appreciate his strength even more. Through these pictures I have followed the journey of his courtship with my mother, their marriage, their dreams of farm life and raising four children together… …then to have it all come crashing down when my mother died only 13 years into their marriage. Not only did he lose the love of his life, but he also made a career change in order to take care of his family and pay for my mother’s medical bills. He went from farmer to insurance salesman, though his heart was never far from the corn field. He was an expert in hybrid corn development. I never heard my daddy complain and I never saw him really cry. He was of that post war generation that kept their problems to themselves and “carried on”. I’m not saying that was healthy for him or for us, but looking back I don’t really know how he shouldered the burden of it all.
Of course like most children, I did not appreciate it at the time and wish I could go back to say “thank you” a million times over for so many things. Daddy had always wanted to hear me play Chopin's Military Polonaise in A major, Op. 40, No. 1. He bought me the sheet music in high school but sadly I did not learn it before his sudden death in March of my senior year. I did finally perform it on my sophomore recital in college in his honor. I know he would have loved it. Here is the first minute of that performance. I am my own worst critic by far! Someone could tell me several times that they love a song I wrote but I would still question whether it's really good. I do try to keep in mind that "good" is a relative term and subjective to the listener, but anytime an artist puts something creative "out there", they make themselves vulnerable to criticism and that is scary. I never really intended for any of my songs to be heard, mainly because I thought they were too simple. I would often find it difficult to finish a song. Subconsciously I felt, “If I don’t finish this song, then I won’t have to play it for anybody, right?” Crazy I know, but that is what it's like to be a perfectionist - it can be very paralyzing. I finally got the courage, mostly through my husband's prompting, to play a song or two for friends, family, & church. It was only after repeatedly hearing comments such as: "Where can I download that?", “Can I find that on You Tube?", "You should make a recording because your music needs to be heard!"...did I ever start to believe that making a recording was something I needed to take seriously. When I finally did make the decision to record, I was just going to do it for friends and family. It wasn't until I nervously got into the studio, and Eric started working his magic, that I began to feel it might be something I could "put out there" for others to hear and enjoy. Now, talk about SCARY! It took about a year of reading "how to" books, listening to podcasts and biographies by people that have overcome hard things, to even drum up the courage to release my little EP. Just seeing a picture of myself on the internet would freak me out! I wasn’t comfortable with social media and have never wanted to come across as self-promoting. All that, wrapped up within each step of this process involving huge learning curves, has required a lot of perseverance and determination, all the while overcoming self doubt. I am here to say that it CAN be done and you are never too old to start!!! Just remember that dreams usually walk around wearing overalls, not so much looking like pots of gold at the end of a rainbow! Ha! The feedback I have received from the release of "Eternal Light" has taken me quite by surprise! NOTHING means more to me than hearing a person say that my music has brought peace in their stressful day, or to see someone sit in tears as I play a song for them. Those moments have made all the "overcoming" worth it.
In the end, that is what every musician hopes for when they perform or create music - that it will touch the listener emotionally, spiritually, or even physically. I am thankful if I can play a tiny part in that for you. Thank you for following along on the journey! |
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